The Secrets to Happiness, As Far As I Know

If you've read almost any of my posts, you know that there's quite a lot going on for me now. This moment, and the ~2 years preceding this moment in time, have been singularly most grueling period of an already painful life thus far.

Not that I'm complaining. This has been the happiest time of my life. Have my trials changed me, what I can be and what I am? Of course they have. And I don't resent it for a second. I actually celebrate it.

Truth be told, I lived a lot of years believing the messages sent to me about who I can be. I was hypersexualized, dumbed down, expected to be social and accommodating and approachable at all times. None of these things are remotely me. If there's any greatest blessing (it would be hard to choose) in all of this, it has been self-discovery.

I'm a quiet, intelligent, thoughtful woman. I'm eclectic and resilient and deeply loving. I'm quiet much of the time, but have no fear of speaking. It's just not my preference. I find great meaning in diversity and supporting those I love through their trials. I don't want to go out, I don't really like being the center of attention, no matter what my looks tell everyone about what or who I should be. I'm athletic and adventurous and curious and always learning.

What a beautiful person to be. If there's anyone I'm really in love with, its myself. Who else could I possibly know on this level?

I practice compassion, and it had to start with myself. Much of the feedback I get reflects only my outspokenness, not my humanity. People make a lot of assumptions. It's human nature, I guess.

But... If there's anything I know for sure (for life has taught me), it's that the key to real and lasting personal strength is embracing our weaknesses. 

I'm fine with having them. And I'm fine with yours, too. I'll embrace them if you will.

One day we'll all have a chance to accept or reject the love that's available to us. But a lot of that choice is being determined now, while we learn to love ourselves.

It's funny to me how a lot of people will attribute people's stupid behavior to selfishness. As far as I can tell, it's not. It's otherness. Usually because we assign the things we don't like about ourselves to other people's intentions. Naw, the root of bad things is when we refuse to look at ourselves.

I've referred to it before, but this is the part where I tell you about the work of Brene Brown. She's an inspiration to a lot of people, and I really appreciate her work. It's all the lessons that life has been teaching me put into logical, clinical (but very human) terms. I highly recommend taking the time to give it a listen - I promise it won't be wasted. Here is the most powerful bit, although I also recommend her talk on shame - for reference (Listening to Shame, Brene Brown). Absolutely listen to the first, if it really piques your interest, listen to the second, and check out her (excellent) writing on the subject.

I appreciate the journey and those who have made it with me. I've come a long way to feel connected. There is hope yet.

Love and Admiration,

Shareeta