Always Remember the Divine

  This is a recently popular and seemingly exhausted subject - but I really did wait and take in and consider a lot before casting in my opinion. I'd like to introduce a moderate idea on the subject.   My problem with the modesty concept and the way that it's taught is not that it has no value, but that it is over-emphasized and only partially explained to young women, to their duress and the the duress of their peers. Why do I feel like I can say this? Because I lived it.   We often talk about modesty in the context of self-respect. I want to connect that concept of self-respect to the concept of self-esteem for the sake of my understanding. We often teach girls that someone with self respect (read: self-esteem) will cover their body. Hopefully we're teaching them that their bodies are good things and that the only reason to cover them is because they are sacred, not bad.  We may or may not be completing that teaching in our culture - but I hope we are.  ...

This week has been an interesting one, to be sure. I've gotten some really curious feedback on my writing... specifically since writing  Confessions of an Anorexic Athlete . The number one response is some variation of, "Wow, that's bold and really brave." Sometimes it's not that nice, and usually more subtle than a verbal statement, but to the effect of the always nasty, "I didn't want to know," or, "It's impolite to talk about," or, "You're making it up/exaggerating," or, "There's no way you could act the way you do if that had really happened." But generally, everyone will come out and say, "Why are you going public with that information? Isn't that a little crazy?" In response to that question... Yes, absolutely.  Honestly, if you didn't know I was a little crazy by now, you really didn't know me well at all. It's a good kind of crazy. There's no such thing as normal an...

See what I did there? I have two sides to my personality, one is always waxing, one is always waning. I hesitate to even call one of these sides part of my personality  because its at odds with who I see myself as and who I want to be. I am working very hard on being my most genuine self  in every setting. It's a process. One side of my personality is like a public face - but it extends far beyond that. At this point in my life, this part only shows up when I'm first getting to know someone or in a group of more than a few. This is not me. This part of me is shaped by years of conditioning, fear and anxiety.  The reason this is more than a public mask is because after a certain amount of time being "on" constantly, it started to creep into my way of being and changed my feelings about myself until I can't turn it "off" anymore. This version of Shareeta is a huge barrier to meeting the real Shareeta. This version is conscious of scrutiny and an inten...

TW: Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, detailed description of  anorexic and bulimic behavior, suicidal depression A note to the reader: This is a personal and heart-wrenching, open account of the nitty-gritty of my eating disorder. I appreciate your readership and I think you'll be surprised by the tone. It would help your understanding greatly if you also listened to the music I've inserted, it communicates emotional messages.    Hey there, stranger. I say that not because we definitely are (though we might be), but because this is going to be perhaps the best explanation of the dynamics of my life that have made me tick these past 12 years. This is far from a full explanation of me, this is the most succinct explanation of my reactive, anxious behavioral response to a number of triggers through my lifetime and the dysfunctions that follow. This is an explanation of how my anorexia works.    I came out (and am coming out) publicly about my eat...