"Congratulations, Would You Like a Cookie?"
A quick note on motivation:
If you want talk to the girl who publicly advocates for equity, social justice and charity about the nice, socially just thing you did and you are standing around, waiting for her approval on the matter - she can tell and she did just find your motivation for doing so.
If you do the right thing because of peer pressure, for attention from someone who cares about you doing the right thing, because of you think of the reward or because you're afraid of some punishment... well, at least you're doing the right thing. That said, if you come up to me all a twitter with excitement about enacting healthy cultural and social change, I will probably sarcastically say,
So excuse me if I don't all of a sudden have a high opinion of you because you're trying to appeal to my sense of social justice by standing up for someone one time. There's a higher call here that I'm trying to fulfill.
If you want talk to the girl who publicly advocates for equity, social justice and charity about the nice, socially just thing you did and you are standing around, waiting for her approval on the matter - she can tell and she did just find your motivation for doing so.
If you do the right thing because of peer pressure, for attention from someone who cares about you doing the right thing, because of you think of the reward or because you're afraid of some punishment... well, at least you're doing the right thing. That said, if you come up to me all a twitter with excitement about enacting healthy cultural and social change, I will probably sarcastically say,
"Congratulations. Would you like a cookie?"
I'm not a jerk, and it's good that you did the right thing. But if you need acknowledgement for it, you're kind of missing the point. Social justice is a matter of giving credit to people who struggle every day because of widespread ignorance and ongoing defensiveness about making accommodation. So, you know, there are those of us who don't get credit for the struggle and those of us who join the battle even in arenas we're not struggling in because we surround ourselves with people in need of our charity and are exercising empathy. To me, it's a matter of integrity. If I don't stand up for people who are my friends when a stranger tosses out a racial slur at them or combat attitudes that are, in fact, ignorant micro-aggression, I'm not keeping my ethos to be a disciple of Christ. I defend everyone's right to live in this world without harassment.
It being a matter of my integrity, I don't do it so you'll think highly of me. Since I've taken on this cause with courage rather than fear, I've become increasingly unpopular actually. Hence the comment on defensiveness.
So excuse me if I don't all of a sudden have a high opinion of you because you're trying to appeal to my sense of social justice by standing up for someone one time. There's a higher call here that I'm trying to fulfill.
Love and Admiration,
Shareeta
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